HELEN CALDER Obituary

HELEN RUTH (OHRLE) CALDER, 92, of Montvale, NJ, passed away on January 20, 2022 with her devoted daughter at her side. Born January 9, 1930 in Mt. Kisco, NY to Adolph C. Ohrle and Hazel L. (Ryer) Ohrle, Helen was the youngest of 3 daughters, raised in Hawthorne, NY. She fondly described her childhood as idyllic, despite the excruciating loss of her father at a mere 8 years old; which strengthened the bond she shared with her mother, sisters and grandparents. With her mother working, Helen spent summers at Fairfield beach with her grandparents and fondly remembered tagging along with her older sisters to local events and even on their dates. She graduated Pleasantville High School Class of 1947 where she played field hockey, basketball and softball, served as Student Body President and yearbook sales manager, and was voted Most Innocent. Helen went on to earn her BA in Business from St. Lawrence University in 1951, where she played field hockey, sang in the University choir, wrote copy for the college radio station, served as Editor of the yearbook, school paper and sorority magazine, and served as chapter officer and member of the Kappa Delta Sorority. She married her college sweetheart, Don Calder, in 1954 after his discharge from the Army, and worked for the phone company until 1958 before starting their family. They bought their home on the hill in Montvale, with the big bay window facing the sunsets, in 1959 and she resided there until her passing. Helen shared a particularly strong relationship with her mother. Together, every Friday, they could be seen shopping for bargains at Alexander's Department Store or perhaps enjoying a cup of black coffee and hamburger on toast at the local Friendly's Ice Cream before returning to Helen's house on the hill to greet the kids coming home from school. Helen was an amazing, hard-working, nurturing stay-at-home mom AKA "a broker - investing in her children's future" -- always at the ready to bake brownies or her delicious apple crisp, have a catch with her daughter in the backyard or drive to baseball, football, softball, basketball, track or wrestling practices and events. In the 1970's, Don suggested getting her a CB radio for her maroon Pontiac Catalina and assigning her the handle "Red Taxi". Helen was a kind, generous and loving daughter, wife, mother, grandmother and friend, always putting others before herself. She was the caretaker for not only her husband and kids but also for both her mother and mother-in-law in their later years. She had a naturally perfect smile (before orthodontics), quick wit and friendly disposition. Helen never complained and faced life's many challenges, including metastatic lung cancer in her 90's, head on with an "it is what it is" attitude. She was sharp as a tack, reading the daily newspaper cover to cover -- often while wearing her favorite yellow sweater and sipping a cup of Taster's Choice instant coffee (only black!) -- always current on world and local news, and she never failed to mail her friends and relatives their birthday, anniversary, and graduation cards on time. With her passing, we hope Dollar Tree and Hallmark will be able to stay afloat. After her children were grown, Helen was relieved that she could finally stop cooking big meals. When someone asked her grandson JT what Grama liked to make for supper, he didn't hesitate to answer "reservations!" Helen especially enjoyed dining out with family and friends – Bellissimo's, Davey's Locker and The Ridge Diner being her favorite local haunts. In their retirement, she and Don spent their summers at Kring Point on the St. Lawrence River where they were often joined by their four kids and their families. Her love for The River and the tranquility of Mother Nature lives on in their children and grandchildren.

Helen is survived by her loving children, all of whom were "her favorite": Bob (Dyann) of Brookfield, CT, Bill of Plainville, CT, Carol Vallay (Jules) of Clinton, NJ, and John (Stacie) of Quakertown, PA, her grandchildren: Jackie and Alex Calder, Rob and Hailey Calder, JT (Alexa), Samantha and James Vallay, Madison (Emma) and Alexa Calder, cousins, nieces, many lifelong friends, especially neighbors Margrit and Herb Willenborg and Joan Lavery, and many dear friends at Kring Point. Besides her parents, Helen was predeceased by her husband Don, sisters Hazel Smith and Elaine Sizeland, and daughter-in-law Pamela Kowar-Calder. In Helen's customary two-armed criss-cross wave, we wave to her a farewell until we meet again. As per Helen's wishes, she will be cremated and interred with her husband at Kensico Cemetery, Valhalla, NY following a memorial service at a later date. In lieu of flowers, we invite you to make a donation to the Hawthorne Reformed Church located at 65 Broadway, Hawthorne, NY 10532, or Save The River (savetheriver.org). Arrangements by Robert Spearing Funeral Home, Inc., Park Ridge, NJ, rsfhi.com